We Look at 20 (or so) Hot Movies of Summer 2017

It’s almost time to bust out the Coppertone! Unless you’re like me. I prefer to spend my summer in darkened movie theatres, emerging after a few hours, hissing in the bright sunlight like Nosferatu. This looks like it will be an EPIC summer for film lovers, so here’s a list I’ve (not quite) whittled down to a manageable number of some of the most anticipated films to hit our silver screens in the coming months.

1. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (May 5)

Technically not a summer film, since the summer movie season doesn’t really start until Memorial Day, but tell me this isn’t going to be top of the box office until then. The playlist was just released on Spotify, so you can get your groove on while you wait another few days.

2. King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (May 12)

Guy Ritchie gives us his peculiar take on the King Arthur story in his own inimitable style. The trailers look pretty rock and roll so this one should be fairly long-lived as well.

3. Alien: Covenant (May 19)

The facehuggers are back. This is the second installment of a trilogy of prequels to the original series. With Ridley Scott back at the helm, it should be as well received as the others in the series.

 

4. Baywatch (May 26)

Who needs the beach? All that sand getting in sensitive areas, so many people, not to mention that nasty sunburn. Join me in the theatre and get the experience without having to see someone’s dad in socks and sandals.

5. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (May 26)

The trailer tells us this is the “final adventure.” What that final part means is up for interpretation. But I’m excited to see Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly back.

 

6. Wonder Woman (June 2)

I was a little meh about this one when I first heard about it. But then I saw the trailer above and now I am completely on board.

7. Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (June 2)

You may not be anticipating it, but if you have kids of a certain age, they will be. Lots of parents will be dragged to this one, so if you have kids, you better start getting ready for this one now. Or find a time that coincides with a Wonder Woman showing.

8. The Mummy (June 9)

Tom Cruise tries to revive the series, since the last few outings didn’t fare nearly as well as the original. And since it’s Tom Cruise, you can bet it will probably rake in the dough.

9. Cars 3 (June 16)

It looks like the warranty may never run out on this series. Being a Pixar film, it should be excellent, and it’ll probably have some little pre-show short that will make me cry.

10. All Eyez on Me (June 16)

You don’t have to be a fan of his music to realize this Tupac Shakur biopic is going to be epic. The trailer looks dramatic and realistically gritty. It’s going to speak to a lot of people and probably be mentioned a few times on some Oscar lists next year.

11. Transformers: The Last Knight (June 23)

It just wouldn’t be summer without Michael Bay blowing stuff to smithereens.

12. Despicable Me 3 (June 30)

Gru has a brother?!? It looks like a classic black-hat vs. white-hat set up, but Gru’s a pretty good bad guy, so something tells me it won’t be that simple. And Trey Parker is the villain. This film is basically going to be my fluffy unicorn.

13. Spider-Man: Homecoming (July 7)

Everyone’s favorite webslinger returns home after aligning himself with Tony Stark in Captain America: Civil War. How do you go back to being a kid when you’ve saved the whole world? Again?

14. War for the Planet of the Apes (July 14)

The damn dirty apes are back and they are still pissed off at humans. I guess they have a point. They don’t look nearly this grumpy in the zoo, though. So our future is either this or Skynet, I guess.

15. Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (July 21)

July 21st is going to be epic for me. San Diego Comic Con will be in full swing, debuting countless trailers that will make me salivate with anticipation for next summer. One of the more awesome side-events to that mothership of cons, Nerd HQ, will be live-streaming panels with some of my favorite people. Then there’s this movie, and…..

16. Dunkirk (July 21)

I just can’t fan girl enough about these two films. They couldn’t be further apart on the genre scale, but I guarantee you will be hearing about this film again come Oscar time. Just the trailers could win a cinematography award.

17. The Emoji Movie (July 28)

Sir Patrick Stewart plays Poop. It could be this year’s Sausage Party. Or it could be…well…

18. Atomic Blonde (July 28)

I’ll admit, I haven’t heard a lot about this one. But it’s making a lot of must-see lists. It’s got Charlize Theron and it’s adapted from a comic. I think of all of these films, this one may be the wild card. It could go either way, so we’ll have to see which way it plays out.

19. The Dark Tower (July 28)

Two words: Idris Elba. Just take my money already.

20. The Hitman’s Bodyguard (August 18)

If you’re like me and can’t hold your chimichanga until Deadpool 2 is released next summer, this might be something to tide us over. I’ve only recently seen ads for it, but it looks like it will be just as irreverent. The poster riffs on the old Kevin Costner/Whitney Houston The Bodyguard poster, so that definitely bodes well in my book.

Honorable Mention: An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power (July 28)

I’m not sure you could classify this as a highly anticipated film, but with the polarizing politics of climate change in the forefront of the news, this is going to be talked about a lot. Love it or loathe it, come July, I don’t think you’ll be able to avoid it.

 

So stick up on the popcorn and Junior Mints, theatres, because I am ready to be entertained. If you think I missed something or totally got something wrong, let me know in the comments.

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